I think it is both ironic and fitting that gray is the one color that has more than one acceptable spelling. My favorite color is yellow. I am tempted to start a trend and spell it “yello,” but that would take away from the power of grey. And gray does have power.
I used to fight with my dad when I was in college. Lots of yelling and anger. He was wrong--republican, supported the Iraq war, pro life. His paying my college tuition to a liberal arts university opened a world to me where I met others who believed the opposite of him. And I finally felt like the world made sense and I knew why I hated the death penalty and refused to put a yellow “support our troops” sticker on my car.
We don’t fight politics anymore. It’s not because we agree--we probably are further apart than ever. But I’ve learned that life is lived in the gray, not the black and white of our arguments. And that relationships are important and are not always based on common beliefs.
I went to dinner this week with friends--2 of the people who are some of the closest and most important in my life. And we hold vastly different beliefs about nearly everything. Catholic/atheist. Liberal/conservative. Married/divorced. The list goes on and on. We have almost nothing in common except we have 8 year old daughters with disabilities and at one time or many we almost lost our children (and love a good Old Fashioned). We openly acknowledge how different we are. We argue (but don’t fight). We push back when it matters but also back down when should because friendship maters more. Especially when you find people who understand your life in ways that most people can’t.
I’m glad you are speaking about this. More of us should. Very little in life is actually black and white.
I used to fight with my dad when I was in college. Lots of yelling and anger. He was wrong--republican, supported the Iraq war, pro life. His paying my college tuition to a liberal arts university opened a world to me where I met others who believed the opposite of him. And I finally felt like the world made sense and I knew why I hated the death penalty and refused to put a yellow “support our troops” sticker on my car.
We don’t fight politics anymore. It’s not because we agree--we probably are further apart than ever. But I’ve learned that life is lived in the gray, not the black and white of our arguments. And that relationships are important and are not always based on common beliefs.
I went to dinner this week with friends--2 of the people who are some of the closest and most important in my life. And we hold vastly different beliefs about nearly everything. Catholic/atheist. Liberal/conservative. Married/divorced. The list goes on and on. We have almost nothing in common except we have 8 year old daughters with disabilities and at one time or many we almost lost our children (and love a good Old Fashioned). We openly acknowledge how different we are. We argue (but don’t fight). We push back when it matters but also back down when should because friendship maters more. Especially when you find people who understand your life in ways that most people can’t.
I’m glad you are speaking about this. More of us should. Very little in life is actually black and white.
Thank you so much for this, Jes.