It’s Just a Phase

For Everything there is a Season….

It’s winter.  We need seasons.  Much like days of the week.  If every day was a Monday, it wouldn’t work.   We need to be able to complain about the now and look forward to something different.  It’s too cold.  In seven months, it will be too hot.   Parenting is the same.  Just when you can no longer take teething, it is on to potty training.  Once potty training gets on your nerves, it is on to the next thing.

I think the same is true for personal and professional relationships.  But here’s the difference – in these cases, we don’t seem to adapt.  Not consciously anyway.

In winter, we put on coats and gloves.  In summer, we go to the beach.  On Mondays we grind it out.  Friday might be pizza night.  Sunday, a day of rest.  We soothe our babies when they teeth and we teach them how to use the potty.

So, what do we do consciously in personal relationships as they pass from phase to phase, season to season, year to year.  We wake up and go about our routine.  And what do we do at work through all that change?  Punch the clock.  Hope for a promotion.  For some, constantly complain as if we are perpetually in a winter Monday.

Is that how it has to be?  Personal relationships have always been difficult to me.  A mystery at best.  I will have to leave that topic to someone more experienced, successful and seasoned.

But after nearly 50 years in the workforce as both an employee and a supervisor, I will take a stab at this one.  Let’s break down some of the seasons.

Pre-Employment.  This is the courting phase yet far too many hiring managers make the employee a bit unhappy before they even arrive.  I have seen contemporary examples of people going through four or more interviews.  Then, radio silence.  Even when hired, some will wait in silence for more than a month and then be surprised to get an offer, which often comes too late.  We can and should communicate often during this phase.  On the day they arrive, they should have a desk, a computer (or whatever the tools of the job require) with an easy-to-read welcome packet and an assigned sponsor.

Brand New Employee.  Most organizations do a fairly decent job here.  We have to.  Like waking up on a Monday, there aren’t many options.  But does every organization do this great?  Nope.  It starts with an orientation, which most environments leverage.  But it can often go sour quickly.  There needs to be a follow-up to determine the success of that orientation.  Is there a channel for feedback?  Is it anonymous?  Is there a 60-day check-in?  If there are eleven elements to the orientation, are there individual assessments for each element over intervals?  In my experience, most orientation programs have some weak areas, but very little accountability for them.  And how about orientation phase two after six months?  Extremely few offices even think about this.  Once done, send them to the wolves.  But think about that first week.  Nervous.  New environment.  Too many acronyms.  Too little context.  Some of the orientation makes much more sense after people get their feet wet.  Maybe the first orientation can focus on how to get paid and where to sit.  The second one can explain why the widgets we sell have to be made of alloy and go through a triple clean machine before we sand them first and then paint them.  Through all of this, a mentor who is not in the supervisory chain can make the season much more temperate. 

Four Years In.  This number is a bit random.  Three years.  Five years.  Fine.   So many changes in the first few years.  People gain experience.  They have ideas.  Fresh perspective.  They also grow more interested, sometimes concerned, about potential for promotion.  Some start getting bored with what they are doing.   What are the conscious steps that any organization takes during this season?  In nearly 50 years I have never seen a human resource plan to address this group.  Many quit.  It could have been different. 

First Time as a Supervisor.  Everyone knows this is a game-changer.  A completely different experience.  Again, many organizations send these folks to some version of human resources supervisor training.  That’s like sending a married couple to a therapist once.  Not enough.  They learn which blocks to fill out in an evaluation.  But they typically don’t really learn the nuances.  They learn how to uses a counseling form.  But seldom are they taught how to motivate and inspire their employees while keeping up with their own new workload.  This group probably needs mentors more than anyone. 

The Seasoned Employee/Supervisor.   These people.  These are the great mentors.  As long as they too are still inspired by the work and their own senior leadership.  These are also the ones you want to retain the most, but they often seek out other job opportunities.  Most systems honor these people with more vacation days, maybe a better parking spot.  But what is the senior leadership doing to inspire and retain?  We never outgrow the need to be inspired.  The time and investment to get them to this point far outweighs the ability to bring someone new up to speed.  These are years ten to fifteen.   Maybe twenty.   In personal relationships there may be children, then the first new home, then soccer club, then graduation, then retirement.  There are natural seasons.  But for these experienced employees it is often just… Wednesday.

Near Retirement.  In old movies I used to see these people get a gold watch.  Usually, an award or some other recognition.  An office party or a luncheon.  And, thankfully, many places still honor this final season of a career.  But more and more it is not uncommon to discover a co-worker retired three weeks ago with no fanfare.   I once got to hear from a man speak about his retirement at a monthly meeting with the entire organization.  The whole point of the meeting was to award, hail, and farewell employees.  He captivated us with some amazing stories, including marching with Martin Luther King Jr.  He took fifteen minutes.   Later, the senior leadership decided that was too much time so farewell speeches, even for retirees, were eliminated.  Shameful.  Do you think the other employees don’t see these kinds of things?  I got a cake on my last day.  I appreciate that.  Five minutes later I was required to conduct a weekly meeting with my supervisors, going over what occurred the week before and what was planned for the following week (I was a few hours away from walking out the door for the last time).  I thought they were kidding (at first).  First impressions and last impressions.  They matter.

I’m not advocating for these labels or even the specific actions at each phase.  I do propose that being cognizant and taking strategic action through all of the seasons can lead to a more satisfied work force and higher retention.

It is winter.  It is 17 degrees outside.  I need to go walk my dog, Fiji.  I am going to embrace the season.  It won’t last long.

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